Transportation jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
I'd rate the pilot a 9/11.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
I’m like an escalator; I always let people down.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!