Transportation jokes
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.
I hate airplanes!
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Yeeeeeeeet!
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.