Transportation jokes

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a bus.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

Why did Paul Walker drown?

Because he was too busy carpooling.

"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot wheels.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..

Hot Wheels.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.