Transportation jokes
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
Memes
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
I'd rate the pilot a 9/11.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
787 bowing.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.