Transportation jokes
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
What word starts with “F” and ends in “uck”?
Firetruck.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.