Transportation jokes
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I love riding my bike 🚲.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What is the difference between a tree and walk walk home and walk walk home from school?
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.