Transportation jokes
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."
And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!