Transportation jokes
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Memes
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*