Transportation jokes

What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?

Hi.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of children.

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.

I need a hug.

*hugs train*

What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?

Hop in!

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.