Transportation jokes

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?

Hi.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of children.

Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.

The British: We drive on the left side of the road.

Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

I need a hug.

*hugs train*

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.

But, it's like a plane pizza.

Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!

Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.