Transportation jokes
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.