Transportation jokes
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.
How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.