Transportation jokes
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!