Transportation jokes
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Memes
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!