Transportation jokes
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?
Was your birthday?
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Your hairline looks like a car!
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.