Transportation jokes
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Memes
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"