Transportation jokes
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
What is the difference between a human and a magic car?
A magic car can fly, and a human cannot fly.
I love riding my bike 🚲.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?
Pilots. You racist f*ck.
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"