Transportation jokes
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
yes
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.