Transportation jokes
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Memes
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.