I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
KSI driving ability.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
