Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
