Transportation

Transportation jokes

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Reality

  • If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

    If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

    Newborn

  • What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

    You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

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    Plane

  • Me dozing off while driving.

    Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.

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  • Car

  • So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

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    Death

  • When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.

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  • Baby

  • What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

    You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

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    Swallow

  • A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

    "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

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  • Plane

  • This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

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    Uncle

  • Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.

    Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?

    Chicken

  • Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

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