Worst Jokes Ever
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Where are virgins usually born?
Virginia.