Worst Jokes Ever
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!