Worst Jokes Ever

Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

Why didn’t the cat cross the road?

Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Why can’t orphans play poker?

Because they don’t know what a full house is! 🥵🥵👴😂🔫😈💀💀💀💀💀💀

Orphans

The “F” in orphan stands for family.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

What type of phones do orphans have?

IPhone XR—it has no home button.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.