Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.