Worst Jokes Ever
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."