Worst Jokes Ever
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Chode.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
Why did the nose cross the road to find the person who "nose"?