Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.