Worst Jokes Ever
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
What's an Emo's least favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.