Worst Jokes Ever

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

What do you call a bald Mexican?

A huevo.

If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"

Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.