Worst Jokes Ever

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane?

A pilot.

You racist fuck!

Stephanie has a magic.

What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”

That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♂️.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

Who needs April Fools?

When your whole life is a joke?

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.

When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.

What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?

She rearranged all the furniture.

I have a funny joke: my life.

Men wake up with a boner.

Women wake up yawning.

Coincidence?

Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!

Why did Hitler kill himself?

His gas bill was too high.

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.