Worst Jokes Ever
My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasn’t good enough?
Because they got plain.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.
Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
"Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.