Worst Jokes Ever

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it doesn't have a home button.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.

Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!