Worst Jokes Ever
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Your face makes onions cry.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
China. There. :)