Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.