Worst Jokes Ever
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.