Worst Jokes Ever
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Midget
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.