Worst Jokes Ever
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.