Amish jokes

Electricity.

What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?

An Amish Mechanic.

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

American: How do you use a PC?

Amish: We use a potato.

Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!

Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

I go balls deep in your mum with no power.

Why don't Amish people water ski?

Because their horses would drown.

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.

What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.