Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.