Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.