Worst Jokes Ever
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.
Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
I eat kids.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.