Worst Jokes Ever
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
I think one of my dads might be gay.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.