Worst Jokes Ever
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.