Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.