Lock jokes

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

-->[] go through the door if you can.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

3, 4, better lock your door.

5, 6, grab a crucifix.

7, 8, stay up late.

9, 10, never sleep again.

I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?

Me: I don't know.

You: Are you sure?

Me: I don't know.

You: Okay.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.