Worst Jokes Ever
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
Why wasn’t the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.