Worst Jokes Ever
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"