Worst Jokes Ever
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
What did the cow say?
Moo!
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.