Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

What was Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse.

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?

Kick her.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?

Drowning Pool - Bodies.

Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Why do nuns not wear bras?

God supports everything.

What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?

One of the missions succeeded.