Worst Jokes Ever

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

Why don’t cheetahs get married?

They always cheat on each other.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was out-standing.

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

I bought a belt made of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.