Worst Jokes Ever
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.