Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Why is 10 scared?

Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?

The devil always has horns... not just around children.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.