Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.