You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Worst Jokes Ever
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
So they could finally call someone "daddy."
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
They are delicious.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.