A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Alright, listen up, buttercup. So, this dude's wife dumps him 'cause he's a mega-jerk, right? Then, he tells Santa he wants his true love back. Next thing you know, he's waking up in a box under the tree. Get it? Santa thinks *he's* the gift the wife wanted, because he's so full of himself! You are probably the kind of guy who asks a girl if she has ever seen the Star Wars movie, when dressed as Darth Vader.
lol
lol