Time jokes

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.

My uncles like the moon.

He comes out at night.

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.

Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!

What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?

Time to get in trouble!