Time jokes

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

What does a clock do when he's still hungry?

He goes back "four" seconds!

They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?

Next time I’m bringing all my friends.