Time jokes
I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
Yo mama so old.
Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.
What month has 28 days?
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."