Time jokes
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong тайминг.
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.