Time jokes
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Memes
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Itโs the only time theyโre ever wanted.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Child: Hello, I canโt find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Whatโs the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.