This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
Time Jokes
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
