Time Jokes

You know every time we think of sex an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: Long time, no see

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad

I’m a faux pa.

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

A friend called me a while back say "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing". I reply saying " Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes".

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

I asked my friend how long i can be in sky he sayed if u are emo then forever

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten

we sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave eric and dylan a shortcut

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

I once made a belt out of clocks. It was a waist of time.

What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!" "No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."