Time Jokes

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice, brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

I like my orphans how I like my wine, locked in my basement for ten

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners

The lady says, "Come Again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his bmw exhaust but his engine failed. This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna I’d hit that

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad

I’m a faux pa.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: Long time, no see

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation

why does japan not allow little boys run. buz the last time a little boy came japan lost a state

How is a priest like a wristwatch They both start at 12

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle? A unicycle can only take one person at a time

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito? He gets to tear that ass up one more time

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ”

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”