Time jokes
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
Memes
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.