Time jokes
"Time"? More like waiting.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Where did Stephen Hawking spend most of his spare time?...
Currys PC World.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
minutes (DYM 124)
Memes
It's 5050
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They donβt have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30).
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D
Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
Q: What's the first day of the week in outer space?
A: Moonday!
What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.