Time jokes

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.

What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.

Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!

Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.

Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.

"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.