If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What is your favorite time of day?
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!
PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(
80s (DYM 84)
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
