Time jokes

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

What time do you have when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

What time is it when you get home?

What time is fun?

Time for games!

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.

How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.

At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

"BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.

When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."