What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?" The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore."
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!” He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!” He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?” “No, this is the rink manager!”
If you're ever bored, try scaring the shit out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day.... only cause I wanted my first time to be special...
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
whats the worst thing to say to an emo. if you don't succeed the first time try try try again
Radiohead had to remake Fake Plastic Trees after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Son: Dad I had sex for the first time. Dad: Would you like to talk about it? Son: Sure Dad: Sit down and lets talk about it. Son: I can't my butt hurts.
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time...................tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
They say the first time doesn't work third times the charm ha not
POV there’s a school shooting American first time European yeah you American no not my first time
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: "The canons be ready Captain!" "Are" says the Captain (correcting their grammar) "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed !!
Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his bmw exhaust but his engine failed. This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time? -- Because it was Luke warm.
