Time jokes
Dababy
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.