Time jokes

Dababy

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

WJE officially a gone memory.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"

....yes, it is "long time no see."

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Windows didn’t update in time.

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

What's the time?

How would I know?

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.