Time jokes

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?

Because it's in between 9/11.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"

Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?

"Are you ready for fall?"

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.