Time jokes
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
Have a great day today!
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?