Time jokes
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
In pixels and polygons, a virtual realm unfolds, A battleground where warriors gather, young and old. A game of wits and strategy, a dance of skill and might, Behold the phenomenon, the world of Fortnite.
What is Fortnite, you ask, this digital sensation? A realm where dreams are forged, in endless animation. A world of endless possibilities, where heroes rise and fall, A tapestry of triumph, where victory calls.
From humble beginnings, a storm begins to brew, A hundred souls drop down, with dreams anew. An island vast and varied, a landscape to explore, From verdant meadows to urban cities, the battles roar.
With pickaxe in hand, we gather resources with haste, Wood, metal, and stone, the foundation of our base. We build and we craft, constructing our fort, A fortress of defense, where enemies are fought.
The storm looms ever closer, a force we can't deny, Pushing us closer together, as time quickly flies. We strategize and plan, our tactics ever shifting, In this ever-shrinking world, our spirits uplifting.
Weapons and loot, scattered throughout the land, We arm ourselves with firepower, take our final stand. Shotguns, rifles, explosives, and more, In this game of survival, we even the score.
But Fortnite is more than just a battle royale, A canvas for creativity, where imaginations set sail. From creative mode to party royale, a world of endless fun, With friends and strangers, united as one.
Yet amidst the chaos, let's not forget, Fortnite is but a game, a virtual vignette. For beyond the pixels and the storms that rage, Lies a world that beckons, beyond the digital stage.
So let us embrace the joy that Fortnite brings, A tapestry of moments, where victory sings. For in this realm of pixels and dreams, Fortnite shines bright, a testament it seems.
So gather your friends, embark on this quest, In the realm of Fortnite, put your skills to the test. For in the end, it's not just about the game we play, But the bonds we form, as we dance and slay.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"