Time jokes
Yo momma is so old, she farts dust!
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
Memes
Have a great day today!
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.