Time jokes
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said itβs bigger than your dadβs!
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! ππ π‘π¦π¦π¦π¦ππ¦
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
Memes
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but Iβm going to be...
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Have a great day today!
I had the BEST day EVER.
1: I woke up.
2: I met someone I'm sad about.
3: I had fun and got them back again online.
But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Today is a gift. Thatβs why we call it the present.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.