Time jokes

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

Dababy

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

What's the time?

How would I know?

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.