Time jokes
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis? A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
you.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.