Thing jokes
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.