Thing jokes
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.